Chuck Norris is so tough...

[Novastar]

...he won't even blend.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=NdD54rG9oQA

Awww yeah. Chuck is still one baaaaad dude. I wonder if he likes bad guy smoothies.

[xwingband]

Where's the third option: Chuck with a saber! :shock:

I normally don't like politics but his endorsement ad was hilarious. "There isn't a chin under his beard, there is another fist"

[Barmic Rin]

When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet.
The water gets Chuck Norris'ed.


He has Two speeds. Walk, & Kill.

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.


So.....many..... Chuck Norris..... Jokes.......

[strengthofrage]

Playing world of warcraft a person becomes desensatized (spelling?) to the chuck norris jokes... there are some reeaally good ones though :lol:

[Barmic Rin]

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.


Well, i've never been on WoW, but I have family that are on there all the time, so I get told about it all.

I get mine from here though: www.chucknorrisfacts.com
What a way to waste your lunchtime!

[Vazan Maceu]

If Chuck Norris wanted to make a real working lightsaber, he´d just make a regular laser and roundhouse kick the beam to bend it back to the emitter.

[DarthFender]

Chuck Norris and Superman had an arm wrestling match where the loser had to wear his underwear outside his pants!!!

[Hasid Lafre]

I persionally cant stand chuck norris So hay chuck.

http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb168/Sidneyious/Misc%20Pics/2.jpg

[Jedi-Loreen]

Huh? That doesn't even make sense to me. :?

[Barmic Rin]

Pfff!!!
Girls! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Kidding J!

When has Hasid EVER made sense? :lol:

[Hasid Lafre]

Remember the saying kick the bucket?

[Barmic Rin]

Chuck would roundhouse kick the bucket!

[Hasid Lafre]

and all round house kicks will be done in snake skin cowboy boots!

[Novastar]

Chuck Norris consistently plays games of Russian Roulette... with a fully loaded gun...

Now technically, he doesn't "win"...


...the bullets just don't want to exit the chamber and GET THEIR ARSE HANDED TO THEM, TEXAS RANGER STYLE.

:) :lol:

[Mi Gin Gonn]

did you hear? chuck norris walked into a wendy's, ordered a big mac, and got one
chuck norris' left testicle: you know it as jupiter

[Lord Maul]

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter airplane by pointing his finger and saying "Bang."

[vortextwist]

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

[Barmic Rin]

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one Bird.

[Luar Selbor]

Come on guys respect my Grand Master. I have trained under his Martial Arts (CKD or CHUN KUK DO or formally known as UFAF or United Fighting Arts Federation) style for about 6 to 7 years now and I think that he deserves a little respect. How many of you guys sat down and talked to him anyway? I think that he is a pretty cool person.

[Lord Maul]

Chuck Norris can burn ants with a magnifying glass.

At night.

[DarthFender]

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

[Lord Maul]

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

[DarthFender]

Chusk norris can solve Pi. (God, I'm a nerd)

[Lord Maul]

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

[vortextwist]

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas when he goes to sleep.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

[Lord Maul]

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

[Stinky Bantha]

Contrary to popular belief, handicapped parking spaces are not for handicapped people. They belong to Chuck Norris, and they denote that you will be handicapped if you park in one.

[Obi-Dar Ke-Gnomie]

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

[Lord Maul]

LMAO

That's a good one Obi Dar :lol:

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

And...My personal favorite:

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

[Dark Helmet]

he's got nothin' on bill brasky!

[Obi-Dar Ke-Gnomie]

Reviving an old thread...

Found this today at
http://icanhascheezburger.com/

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/funny-pictures-chuck-norris-cat.jpg

[ArkaiHalon]

go to google

type "find chuck norris"

click "i'm feeling lucky"


see what happens

[Obi-Dar Ke-Gnomie]

ROFL! That's too funny!

[Lord Maul]

Heh, type in "elgoog" and hit "I'm feeling lucky"

That is some fun snitz right there :mrgreen:

[Darth_DevilGuy]

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
I'm not sure I should find something that racist as funny as I do.

[ArkaiHalon]

The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.

[DarthFender]

What could we all say about Bruce Lee, then? remember "Enter the Dragon"

[Malaki Skywalker]

The greatest show down... EVER! :shock:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=JLO1YIWQuXE&NR=1

[darxtryder]

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.


Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.


Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.


Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.


If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.


When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, "don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."


Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.


Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.


When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

and then this one is the best....

There Is No Such Thing As A Lesbian, There Are Just Girls Who Haven’t Met Chuck Norris

[Rade Valm]

Chuck Norris is fake! Lightsabers cannot be beaten!

[Nagi]

one time chuck norris and mr. t went into a bar it exploded cause it just couldn't contain that much awsomness:)

[Sethski]

http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j249/Sethski/nunchucks.jpg

[Darth Lars]

LOL@nunchucks.

Here's something I found on YouTube: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=NdD54rG9oQA

Edit: Sorry. I did not know this was a repost. I had followed "related" links from another video that was posted here.

[Rade Valm]

LOL@nunchucks.

Here's something I found on YouTube: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=NdD54rG9oQA

Isn't that the video that was in the first post of this thread?

[Sethski]

the very same...

...but kind of worth seeing again! ;)

[goldsaberwarrior]

Chuck Norris was recently bitten by a cobra and after 3 days of intense pain the cobra died.

Chuck Norris is the reason we won't find life on mars.

When the boogie man goes to sleep at night he checks his bed for chuck norris.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light, not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him.

If two chuck norris roundhouse kicks were to hit each other the world would explode.

Chuck Norris has to roundhouse kick himself to shave because only chuck can cut chuck.

Chuck Norris is the real cause of global warming because he got cold and turned up the sun.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting he goes killing because hunting implies failure.

Microsoft recently developed a new anti virus software which keeps 100% of viruses out of your computer called Chuck Norris, which dares the virus to enter the machine.

Whenever Chuck Norris does push ups he's not pushing himself up, he's pushing the world down.

Please post more.