PDA

View Full Version : What am I doing???



xwingband
01-23-2006, 08:33 AM
I will not mention previous problems (it bothers me that it's happened multiple times)...

What am I doing that sets people off? If the offended poster thinks they're frustrated I am felling 10 times that. My posts get ripped to pieces because they think I'm trying to put them down yet they don't see that it can also have a benign meaning.

I'd like to hear others thoughts. I re-read my posts to death changing the wording, and I don't really do much different from others yet I always seem to be source of problems...

[B)]

<center>http://www.dewbackwing.com/dewbacks/files/pinupbanner.jpg
www.dewbackwing.com</center>

scaarmor
01-23-2006, 09:10 AM
X-wing,
I personally dont feel that you have been out of place with any posts. It seems that the people who get upset about something you have posted, then after speaking about it with you claim to see your meaning and are o.k. with you, then later get upset again. I believe once someone gets upset they are more likely to think you have something against them and read your future posts as if you have some sort of vendetta against them or something. As I stated before- its easy to misunderstand simple typed words when no true emotion can be convayed with them. However I would think this would be cured with the use of the little smiley icons, which I have seen you use quite a bit. So again I state- I havent seen anything wrong with the things you have posted. Maybe you just naturally attract the people who cant stand to be redirected, get constructive critisism, or for whatever reason think people are "out to get them". All I can say to this is I am sorry it continues to happen to you, and I know what it feels like as this is one of the only times I can remember that it hasnt been me in your position wondering what the hell I did. Also, in the future I will try to help you in such matters if I see someone getting upset to help you save whatever hair/sanity you may have left, if you wish...[V]

Cain

***It is now that we battle.When you die, await my arrival in the afterlife where we will battle again.Perhaps there you may have the ability to defeat me,but not here,not now,not this day.So let us part with words and embrace the blade.***

dbraxton9
01-23-2006, 11:25 AM
I think internet forums in general make people naturally sensitive/rude. people suddenly sprout big brass balls when perched safely behind a keyboard and 100s of miles of fiber optic cable. they also sprout huge tender egos that take offense at every generality that is posted. it's the same sort of person who, in a crowded restaurant, hears a table of people laughing loudly on the other side of the room and just KNOWS they are laughing at him/her. Forums are a new phenomenon in our culture and people don't learn "netiquette" at home from their parents like they learned their table manners. they learn it from other forum posters who often take very impolite approaches to "correcting" people. in reality they are saying "either post someting interesting to me or go away". Many people go into a forum expecting to be attacked and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. remember that girl who took my silly little joke (the one she opened herself wide open for...) the wrong way and lashed out at you for it? that's what i'm talking about. she even said in her very first post "waits for lynching" or something like that. That's how some people are, on the web or in that case, i bet face to face, too. Xwingband, you have never attacked any poster on this forum that i know of, and i think i have read all the threads by now. You do have a way, however, of attacking people's posts, and that is nearly the same thing to the poster. You don't realize it and neither does anyone else here because you didn't make the initial post that is being "corrected". But when that poster responds hotly, as one would face to face, you definitely feel it. That's because it's now turned your way. this is due to 2 factors: 1) new people are touchy and get their feelings hurt because many other forums are populated by very rude people, and 2) you are by far the most frequent poster on this site aside from Stryder, which gives a newcomer the impression that you either are the moderator or a TCSS employee. You are also ususally the very first person to respond to a new post from anyone, which also gives the same impression. when you tell people, particularly new people, their posts are "pointless rambles" or are "totally irrelevant" etc. it sounds as if they have done something awful by posting here at all. also, people are going to just pop in and drop a question without reading a single post first, and that is definitely annoying as it makes the site untidy. however, it's going to happen and keep hapening because people just do that. the solution is the one that is already in place, that is, to post a link to the appropriate thread and lock the stray one. no need to pounce on anyone for it as we ALL don't like it and someone will speak up sooner or later if it becomes a real problem. TCSS has been maintaining a very neat and informative forum for a while now and shows no sign of stopping.
in summary:
you are the first impression most everyone has of the TCSS forum. you often single out posters, not just new ones, for some way or another saying "something wrong". sometimes you are right. but if the first response to a question (a petition for help) is criticism, regardless of how well it is intended, you are likely to get the impression you aren't welcome.
your posts are useful, easy to read, timely, and well-informed. please don't let this get to you and make you stop posting. you provide a lot of help for many people here, especially me. just answer questions! ha ha

"Look at me! Judge me by my size do you? And well you do not! For my ally is the force, and a powerful ally it is!

GeluKhanGharr
01-23-2006, 02:05 PM
As the second most frequent poster I feel obligated to respond, particularly since xwing left me in the dust with the number of posts about 2 weeks ago.

I find nothing wrong with your posts. As dbraxton9 mentioned, there is too much sensibility out there and since you are mostly the first one to answer, you become the target. Unlike dbraxton9 has hinted, I say continue to do what you are doing. Those who "walk" in here and just start asking questions deserve to be blasted. I can understand and forgive one's inability to find something. I will not understand nor fogive laziness, lack of common sense and lack of manners. Like the ones comming in here asking if they can buy this store's parts cheaper elsewhere. Brrr!

I had a hard time refaining from flaming the one who was "waiting to be lynched". Her attitude was wrong all the way. And her responses were outhright rude.

Some people are just asking for it, but if you give it to them, they'll just blow up. Just don't forget that and you'll be fine. In other words, don't take it to heart so much.


Born of Sith, seduced by the light.
http://www.saloncatalina.com/images/signature.jpg

Jedi Ranger
01-23-2006, 02:27 PM
I agree. These forums are still quite new, and there is not a TON of info to dig through, in reality. And the "Search" feature works quite well.

I think that those of us that have been here from almost the beginning, tend to feel that these are partly our own forums (like our family or offspring), and may tend to get defensive, and easily irritated (from an newbie's prespective).

Anyway.............[:)][8D]

<center>http://www.members.shaw.ca/Jedi.Ranger/images/Jedi_Ranger_Banner_4.1.jpg
http://www.members.shaw.ca/Dahak/</center>

xwingband
01-23-2006, 04:36 PM
Thanks for all the responses. I do admit I have used some bad wording before but I'm working on it and I'm more concious of how it can be taken.

I guess I am quite zealous in posting. Time + love of sabers = lots of posts[:D]

This does bother me because I have experienced being flamed into not posting on forums. Heck, I got banned for defending Ultra on another forum... (long story) If anything I was most bothered by the latest problem saying they'd take their business elsewhere. If anything I want my posts to bring business to Strydur.

Ehh... I guess I'm just in a little burnt out lately. I don't think it can be said enough that I truly do like this forum and like the people that post here.[:)]

<center>http://www.dewbackwing.com/dewbacks/files/pinupbanner.jpg
www.dewbackwing.com</center>

GeluKhanGharr
01-23-2006, 06:01 PM
xwing, the one who stated he was going to take his business elsewhere because of your responses was a ....well, I'm not going to say it. [:o)] I am sure Tim knows the kind.
"i was gonna spend so much money, but now you've offended me and i'm not going to do it" -- phuleeeeeease!
I have been in business long enough to know these people are for real only 1 out of 1000 times. I was a door to door salesman, I worked in retail and I own a salon. I have worked in NYC for 12 years - tough crowd. I have had and still have daily customer contact. Trust me, I know this kind of joker. You do not want business with them because they are never satisfied. And after you have bent over backwards to make it right to them, you still get bad publicity. [B)]
Now, if you still feel bad, dig deep into your pockets and place a nice fat order with Tim. I am sure he'll forgive you even if he wasn't upset with you to begin with.[:D]

Born of Sith, seduced by the light.
http://www.saloncatalina.com/images/signature.jpg

xwingband
01-23-2006, 09:21 PM
Oh... I have a nice order waiting for sure.[:D] I'm in planning for my saber and it's going to have the works. I just don't know how I'll find the time to build it.[:p]

<center>http://www.dewbackwing.com/dewbacks/files/pinupbanner.jpg
www.dewbackwing.com</center>

Tenric Starkindler
01-23-2006, 09:49 PM
very new here..but old on several other boards....[8D]

1) if they post with an attitude I either ignore them and do not respond or answer and ask them to "play nice" in a friendly tone.

2) People will take things in many different ways. I just try not specifically target anyone or anything. If I disagree I say something like: "it's just my opinion,but...." or "I can see what you are saying. I don't see it that way personally...."

I had read one of you responses that did seem a bit harsh...can't remember which one sorry....but whan you then posted what you meant I could see it clearly.

I guess all I'd say is: "just be friendly in your postings".

Again this is just my opinion and offered in hopes of being helpful.
IF it's outta line just ignore me.........[;)]

Reality often interferes with what would otherwise be an idyllic delusion.

GeluKhanGharr
01-24-2006, 12:06 AM
Tenric, that is a kind and sensible post. I whish I could achieve the serenity to ignore the bad like you suggest [;)]

Born of Sith, seduced by the light.
http://www.saloncatalina.com/images/signature.jpg

LAN-ED-TUL
01-24-2006, 01:34 AM
dont sweat it xwing. us fellow saber builders here who have been on for a while know what your meaning, and in my opinion, i dont see any harseness in anything youve said. sometimes, we just state straight to the facts. and sometimes, a noob seems overwhelmed by that. or intimidated. i have done it myself. so, dont fret it xwing. its all good.

You dont know the POWER, of the dark side...

archammer2
01-24-2006, 10:40 AM
*shrugs* Maybe it's your breath?

In all honesty, when I looked at that post about the Hasbro sabers and the sound boards, I thought to myself "Isn't a whole section of the forum devoted to this?" Then again, I'm guilty of asking stupid questions like that, too. Then, when I see that it's been asked a dozen times I think "... D'oh... I'm dumb." :P

Honestly, I appriciate people telling me I'm being a 'n00b', ya know? Even better when someone gives me a link or two and says "Here. It's been done. Quit asking."

Darth Vengus
01-25-2006, 11:46 AM
<font face="Book Antiqua"><font size="2"><font color="red">I use <u>this</u> method when posting on any forum about anything:

1. I type as though I am standing there actually talking to the person. Would I ingratiate myself though my words, or P*** them off? Is there a better way to say/ask/imply something? Would I like hearing what I am saying if it came from someone else? Will my attempt at humor be taken the right way? When in doubt, just be straight forward, and honest. Treat others as you would be treated.

2. Am I butting into something that is none of my business? Do I walk up to others in person and interrupt <u>their</u> conversations, or do I politely listen and wait for my turn? The same can be done on forums. Treat others as you would be treated.

3. Forums are not like the real world in that you can look thru the past postings and maybe find the answer you seek without bothering anybody else. I try real hard to look around first. If I get lost and can't find my way, <u>then</u> I ask for help. If I don't understand what I have found, <u>then</u> I ask for help. Treat others as you would be treated.

4. This is <u>not</u> my forum. I respect other's beliefs and opinions even if I don't agree with them, and thereby I show respect to the forum's 'owner' by not starting 'flames'. I am not on a crusade to change anybody's mind about anything. There are political and religious forums just for that type of posting somewhere else. Hopefully far away from here. Treat others as you would be treated.

5. Is my spelling like chicken tracks, which to me says "You are unimportant to me, and I will not waste the time it takes to make my message legible. If you can't understand my chicken-scratch, too bad[^]."? This is rude, plain and simple. I didn't take a class in illiterate 'shorthand', and I don't plan on it. Spellcheck is just for this type of thing. Treat others as you would be treated.

6. And finally, treat others as you would be treated.

Now I am not using this post to bust on anyone else, but some newbs would probably do well to at least consider a few of these. They are only a suggestion for others, but written in stone for me[:)].

Vengus


</font id="red"></font id="size2"></font id="Book Antiqua">

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger, faster and far more deadly than before. Go and seek death, my Apprentice." - Vengus, Sith Lord

Mur-Pa DiLos
01-26-2006, 11:00 PM
X-wing,

I agree with Gelu and Cain. You do sometimes come off as blunt, but when people put up dumb posts like "how do you put in sound?", personally I think that they are just asking for it. I sometimes laugh when I see your responses! I don't think you have a problem. My biggest pet peeve is bullsh!t! so... naturally I like how you're blunt. Don't worry about everybody else... the guys on this site that have researched (whoa a big word for some) the forum and found some of their questions answered will also see how you come off... hopefully then they will understand that you're... well.. blunt. As Gelu said about being one of the biggest posters, I felt that I should post this because I've only been on since Christmas and if it wasn't for you, Cain, and Gelu I'd be in a world of hurt. Don't worry, let it slide of your back, because we all have your back.[:D]

Mur-Pa DiLos
01-26-2006, 11:04 PM
X-wing,

as some smart Jedi would say: "Patience, think," "use your instincts" and above all "anger leads to the darkside"[:)] all they are are a bunch of darkside wannabees especially that "lynching" "person."[:p]

scaarmor
01-27-2006, 01:15 AM
I agree, with all of the outer world crap we all deal with on a daily basis I can see how some would naturally feel attacked, even when they are not. We deal with so much outside these forums that it sometimes carries over into our personal lives, this being a part of our personal lives. All I can say to those people is lighten up, X-wing and all of us here, are not out to make attacks towards anyone. A lot of use have a wierd sense of humor, and if you were to read previous posts (as instucted) you would see how we all have fun, help each other out, and sometimes pick at each other- somewhat like a normal family would do. These people( the ones who get offended) need to learn to not be so touchy and swallow thier pride sometimes, the same way all of us here have at one time or another. I live by a very easy life modo- I never lie to people, even if I dont like them. I always wear my real face to the party not a sugar coated one. Some people like the way I am and some dont. For the ones that do, thank you for understanding me and my psychotic ways. For those that dont, F&*^ it! If you dont like me,that is fine, you dont have to speak with me or read my replies, but dont start crap on somone elses turf just because you dont like ME! Because that is a respect I would give to you if the situation were reversed...

And just to keep the normal psychotic level of family sick humor up- X-wing, never stress over people who dont like you, because WE do. And if they want to start sh*&, let them, no one listens anyway. We got your back, even if I have to risk another broken hand to beat them with a stick- so be it!!! WE looovvveee yyyooouu mmmaaannn!!!

Cain

***It is now that we battle.When you die, await my arrival in the afterlife where we will battle again.Perhaps there you may have the ability to defeat me,but not here,not now,not this day.So let us part with words and embrace the blade.***

Mur-Pa DiLos
01-27-2006, 01:41 PM
Xwing,

to put it plainly, as obviously seen from these responses... we all got your back![:D]

xwingband
01-27-2006, 02:07 PM
Yes, thanks everyone. It's good to feel some support. I haven't had the best of luck anytime lately. *sigh* [V]

<center>http://www.dewbackwing.com/dewbacks/files/pinupbanner.jpg
www.dewbackwing.com</center>

LAN-ED-TUL
01-27-2006, 08:58 PM
no prob, xwing. you gotta friend here, and lots of others here too as well.

You dont know the POWER, of the dark side...

Cyambin
01-28-2006, 11:08 AM
WHOOPS
I only get to check this forum weekly so I missed the chance to add my two cents.
I think your posts tend to have obvious superiority. Not just from the near-300 posts under your name(at time of writing) but from the masterful command of language and the know-how you use.[:D] That gets intimidating. And people are stupid. I have no problem with you, in fact I think you ROCK so just fegetabattit.

yodaphet
01-30-2006, 05:51 PM
Im a noobie around here....and I think you all kick @**!
People do need to lighten up. If someone can't take criticism, how can they ever expect to grow. I sure as heck don't claim know everything. I have already learned a ton from all of you fine saber crafters, and I hope I too can one day contribute ideas and resolutions with you.[:D]
I am thankful for this group!